For the Love of Golf

Golf is the game I would love to hate, but I love it too much to hate it! When I’m playing well, I want to play a lot. But when I’m playing poorly, I want to play even more. This game is maddening. We practice the same things over and over in repetition, hoping to get a different result. Then, when we think we have it, it’s gone. So why do we kill ourselves at something that makes most of us no money, takes hours to play, and keeps us from doing the things that are probably more constructive, only to chase the little white ball into a 4 1/2-inch hole? The answer is simple. BECAUSE GOLF IS HARD and it’s addicting!

I have played a lot of different sports in my life, but golf is by far THE hardest one of all! And of all the sports I’ve played, it’s the one I’ve played the longest. Why? BECAUSE IT’S HARD and I’m addicted!

People are competitive by nature. Men are more competitive than women because they are hunters. (Yes, I’m going back to the Stone Age. Just stay with me on this.) For men, the competition of animal hunting lies within. Men, by nature, were always the providers, and it’s in their DNA to fight their prey. Women were the gatherers and the socialites. They sheltered their children from harm and stayed together as a group. Most women like to play golf because it’s social. Fewer women play golf for competition. Most women above age 40 were not brought up to compete in sports the way girls are today. Men are immediately thrown into the competitive ring from the start. Fathers play a bit rougher with boys, and it makes them play hard right back. They, in turn, play rough with their friends, creating a competitive atmosphere as they grow up. I believe that some women have a particular gene they are born with that creates or warrants that competitive nature. We all have adrenaline secretion that is stimulated by fear, but it’s how we process it that sets us apart. Some people run away from fear, and others face their fear and fight it. Studies have shown that more women handle fear by protecting themselves from it, but there is a group that has that ornate ability to face it and stand up to it.

It was recently taken into consideration in a court of law that the studies proven on the “fight or flight” theory do determine how someone reacts in a fearful situation. When we face fear, depending on how dangerous and afraid we become, adrenaline can seep into our system, or it can shoot like a rocket into our system. The more adrenaline secreted and the faster it flows, the more heightened we become. Depending on how we process this adrenaline rush, we can determine if our outcome is in control or uncontrolled.

So you are probably wondering how the “fight or flight” syndrome relates to golf. Well, adrenalin, depending on how we process it, prepares us for competition. Some of us will use it to play harder and go forth into the situation and battle it. Others will retreat and give up and never want to face it again. It is my theory that we do not make that decision consciously but more on a subconscious level. It is how we feel when under the influence of adrenaline. Is the pressure too much? Does it make us flee or fight harder? That is the difference that makes a player a competitor or a casual player. If our brain chooses to stay and fight the battle, it becomes like any addiction, male or female; the more you do it, the more your mind becomes stimulated and entices you to want more.

Now my theory on man vs. women in the combat mode is this. Women are more competitive today because society has changed us into believing that women can compete in anything that men can. Over the last century or so, more women fend for themselves and are the family provider. Women who have that strong, dominant personality trait are more likely to be successful at providing and surviving. This group of powerful women can process adrenaline to fight for what they want, and they are the ladies who have the edge to play competitive sports.

So in bringing it back to the why, BECAUSE IT’S HARD, theory. We do it because when something is so difficult to do, the competitive brain tells us to keep fighting, and when we have that feeling of improvement, it teases our mind to want more. Then, when we hit that perfect shot, it’s like our brain is having a cellular orgasm, flooding a feeling of euphoria that tells our body, YES, we are good at this game. That feeling left an imprint on our brains, and we tend to remember the good shots over the bad ones, making us want more.

Over time, players may lose that edgy feeling and look for ways to get it back. Once the competitive player experiences tournament golf, there is no turning back. Tournament golf pushes us to limits like no other. Playing against different players with advanced abilities creates that butterfly, nervous feeling before the round. It’s what you do with it that will make you a better player. But first, you have to understand how it helps you.

When fight or flight occurs, adrenaline floods our system and heightens our senses. Our vision becomes narrow and sharp, our muscles increase in size, strengthen and tighten, and our hearing is broad. Depending on the amount of fear we are faced with determines how much we experience these effects.

Before the competition, we may feel butterflies in our stomachs or a slight tingling sensation throughout our bodies. Our muscles become tight, causing our body to move too quickly and grip the club too tight. When our grip and body are too tight, we tend to overswing. We are also at risk of becoming distracted too easily by the noise we notice and our vision too fixated on moving objects.

So how do we diffuse these feelings? (I say diffuse because without these feelings, the excitement is less and the push to become a better golfer is less.) Once you notice the feeling of butterflies or a tingling sensation, you must welcome it, accept it, and embrace it. If you focus your attention on them for too long, they may artificially manifest themselves and cause distraction.

Here are some techniques to help:

Breath – deep breaths in for a count of 3 and exhale for a count of 4. It is essential to count this to yourself. Counting diverts your attention and helps you relax. Deep breathing during heightened adrenaline exchanges oxygen in your muscles quicker and helps them to relax.

Vision – notice your vision and how much you can see. While looking straight ahead, soften your gaze to see as far left and right as possible. This softening will relax the muscles in and around the eyes, face, and jaw. When putting to about 6 – 8 feet, soften your gaze as you are looking down at your ball. Notice the cup within your peripheral vision. By seeing the cup, this will give you more confidence in your line and distance.

Loosen your grip – feel the grip in your hand and notice how tight you are holding the club. Loosen your grip and waggle the club to feel the head move independently from the grip. Waggling will relax your hands, wrists, arms, and shoulders. 

Slow your swing – in your practice swing, exaggerate a rhythmic, slow backswing and follow through. Feel your finish and hold it.

The most crucial technique is to follow an exact, and I stress the word exact, pre-shot routine for every single shot. If you don’t have one, get one. Make it your own. (I will go over that in another article.) Using your pre-shot routine during a competition will keep you focused and help you stay in the moment. Be sure to make an exhale part of that routine just before you swing. If you inhale before your swing, your muscles will tense up, so be sure to blow it out.

In closing, I hope you learned something new. Maybe about how adrenaline affects our nervous system and how we process it. Now you can notice it when it shows up, how to use it to your advantage and how to diffuse it enough to work for you.

If you want to become a better player and you feel stuck in your progress, try playing in an exciting round of tournament golf. There are plenty of amateur golf leagues that compete in net tournaments for all ability levels. Once you do, I am warning you that you may become addicted!

Thank you for reading my blog.

Yours in golf,

Jaime Costanzo

Mental Game Coaching Profesional

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